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  Daisy
  An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up." The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" The slightly concerned mother says, "Sure, why do you ask?" The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!"


THE TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
7. Viagra, Home of the whopper
6. Viagra, It plumps when you cook it!
5. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
4. Viagra, Tastes great, more filling
3. Viagra, Ten inches long ... and growing.
2. Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to.
1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?


Little Bobby walked into his parents' bedroom while they were making love. "What're you doing?" asked the child. "Why, er we're playing poker,son," replied his father. "What's mama doing?" "She's my partner." Bobby ambled out of the bedroom, and as he walked down the hall, he heard noises in his sister's bedroom. He stopped, opened the door and discovered the girl having intercourse with her boy friend. "What're you doing?" asked Bobby. "We're playing poker" replied his sister. "And what about him?" asked the child, pointing to her sister's pal. "He's my partner." The youngster left the room and went down the hall to the room of Roger, his teenage brother, who was masturbating furiously. "What are you doing?" asked the child. "I'm playing poker, replied Roger. "Where's your partner?" "Listen," said the older brother, "when you've got a good hand, you don't need a partner!"

Do you remember your first time?
The sky was dark The moon was high
All alone Just her and I
Her hair so soft Her eyes so blue
I knew just what She wanted to do
Her skin so soft Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers Down her spine
I didn't know how But I tried my best
To place my hand On her breasts
I remember my fear My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread Her legs apart
And when she did it I felt no shame
All at once The white stuff came
At last it's finished It's all over now...
My first time Milking a COW!

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. She dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase. After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed. While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. "Oh no! It's short, pink and wrinkled!" She exclaimed. Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake.".

 
  KIM
  A strange young fellow from Leeds
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.
.


A rookie milkman had just started a new milk run when he happened upon a house that when he delivered the milk a beautiful woman answered the door with a see through nightie on. This happened every morning from Monday to Thursday. On Friday the milkman couldn't take it anymore, so zipped down his fly and took out his penis fully erect and he rang the doorbell to deliver the milk. To his surprise a six foot 200 pound hairy chested man answered the door. The quick thinking milkman said: "If you don't pay for your milk today I'll piss all over you!"



There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.
 
  My interests: SEE her Below
 
    In the rest room an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands, clear up to his elbows. He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan, we were taught to be clean." The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from USC California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious." The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Wyoming, and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
     
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    http://movies.acmecity.com/sappy/2
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